A Letter From a Twentysomething

I’m just finishing Sarah Cunningham’s “Dear Church”, subtitled “Letters from a Disillusioned Generation”. These fourteen rather raw letters do not make for easy reading for someone who has committed nearly thirty years to serving the church in a pastoral role. It would be easy to become immediately defensive (which happens when your identity becomes more and more aligned with the church you have poured yourself into). It would also be simple to dismiss it as just another disaffected person who expects the church to be perfect. Just another self absorbed twentysomething that needs to quit complaining and join hands with the rest of us. But actually, I really liked a lot of her thoughts, and my guess is Sarah is verbalizing what a number of people in a younger generation in my church are hesitant to say to me in person.

Maybe I am also not too put off, for I once was an idealistic twentysomething wanting to change the world. I was on a university campus in the sixties and seventies, having my arguments with campus radicals like the SDS and joining with other Christians in a quest to change the world. I’d still like to think I am still about this, only I have embraced the church as the place to do it. I am still convinced the church is the hope of the world, just as I am convinced that training tomorrow’s leaders in a seminary setting is the hope of the church.

Helpful in the book is the description of disillusioned twentysomethings. Here are some: Twentysomethings want to feel connected, value family, community—and see individualism as deepening human poverty. They want things now, and are impatient with things that cannot be resolved right away. They like technology, but do not want it to replace real live people with stories that speak to the human condition. They are idealistic, and hunger for a church to give them meaningful responsibility. They are transparent, respecting leaders courageous enough to share their true struggles. They have hypersensitive internal sensors when it comes to authenticity. They are slow to formally commit, but will be loyal investors in the end. They value diversity and inclusion, and are disillusioned with the fact only 5% of Protestant congregations are multiracial. In sum, they are frustrated that the church falls short of the radical community God intended it to be.

What I hear is something like this. Whatever we do as a church, make sure we never sacrifice community for size. Leaders, be careful in making decisions, but don’t let the church languish in endless discussions, analysis paralysis. Get on with it. Take the risk!  Let people share their stories. We need to hear from each other in worship—not just from a pulpit voice. Be yourself—don’t try to be trendy, cutting edge for the sake of being cool. Be patient and less critical, even if a younger generation isn’t on board yet. Read the gospel over and over, measuring the church by what Jesus did.

Cunningham is not afraid to admit her own disillusionment with disillusionment, and the tendency to idolize, let it monopolize her head. She understands a lot of imperfect things are going to happen in a church. Going to another church will eventually mean trading one set of flaws for a different set of flaws. How I wish people understood this, especially those who leave after you have poured so much into them.

If I have one disappointment, it would be that the book did not make a more compelling argument for committing to one another, despite the inevitable disappointments. I am this thirtysomething in a fiftysomething body with this undying hope that the diversity twentysomethings love can include age, and that together we will listen to one another and grow and press the church to be this fermenting wine of Jesus, in structures that continue to change—structures that are always the servant, not the master. Trite as this may sound, we need each other if the church will have a significant future.

Comments

[Sarah]

Pastor Johnson, thanks for the comprehensive review...and more so, for listening with a spirit of learning rather than criticism. (Only in this day and age does an author email you when you blog about her book, ay?)

I hear you on your last point. And rest assured, the compelling arguments to commit to each other are evolving in my life and writing. I have no intention of becoming the disillusionment author and believe there is much to be said about growing a sustainable personal faith and a sustainable faith community. I look forward to opening myself up to greater transofrmation along these lines and bringing my ongoing learning to expression as God provides me forums. Perhaps one day I will get to those chapters you long for. I suspect soon. Thanks again. Truly. Sarah

[Trisha]

Thanks for this post. I haven't read this book, but thanks for putting in on my radar. I feel this same disillusionment as a thirtysomething. The only thing I know how to do about it is pray. I pray that the community at Village will become more and more connected--that they would know each others needs, and meet each others needs.

[Scott Davison]

John,

Intereting thoughts though I think they fall short of one very distinct issue. This issue isn't just about twenty something it's about the entire church culture. Twenty somethings take the heat for voicing opposition or idealism because the thirty something have given up to the cause, forties don't care and fifty to sixties are legacy driven. Of course this is a genralization but just look around and prove it wrong.
One of the saddest transitions is for me to watch large numbers of people in their late twenties begin the spiral towards dissolutionment. Get the better job, work longer hours, turn there focus in on the family and all along the church applauds this as what the christian life looks like. Radicalism, idealsim, hope for something better is substituted wth an ever growing acceptance of the numb.
This is not exclusive to this generation nor will it be to the next. The older generation will continue to crush the hopes of the younger and fully justify it under the pretense of idealism. I think there is an undercurrent of jealousy that drives much of this as one generation remebers that they also once had passion.
Written by a mid thirty-something who fights all the voices around him to keep the radical message of Jesus alive.

[pilgrim]

As a “Twenty-something”, speaking for myself, I would disagree with many of the things mentioned. First, I think the pigeon-holing and the lumping of persons regarding age is folly. When someone believes, is baptized into Christ, becoming a member of His body, spiritual age begins and takes precedence over physical age. True, “Age is a tower!” as my good friend says (who is in his fifties) and my Dad always says, “You can’t put an old head on young shoulders!” But one does not have to be a certain age to live by faith. And spiritual age is determined by growth, not years that one has been a Christian or yet, the age when one becomes a Christian. I am positive that there are many who, though older in age, yet are still being weaned on the milk of the Word. Likewise there are young people who have progressed from the milk to the meat of the Word.

Why does Christendom desire to number, and weigh and measure so much? Whose strength does it show we are relying on, when we reveal to the world that we desire to force the weight of the scales in our favor? Be careful in the numbering, for “He was numbered with the transgressors…”

Second, I would agree with Scott about “Idealism”. Again why this fascination with words? Seeing the zealousness in others and calling it idealistic shows the lack of hope that the Church has. That is why the Church has lost its strength! No hope. And if one has no hope, they have nothing to direct their faith at. Faith then becomes stagnant. If a believer’s hope is diminished and their faith sluggish, how much more their love, which is the greatest of three mentioned. What if the above zeal is placed there by the Holy Spirit? There is a reason why we have been baptized with fire.

I’m sorry Pastor…I disagree…unless I’m misunderstanding you, then I apologize. But Christ is the hope of the world, not the Church! And the Holy Spirit is the hope of the Church, not seminary! The more the Church gets away from this, the more human strength and effort is needed to sustain. The more the Church strays from this, the more the spiritual world and spiritual life distances itself from us, becoming a mere thing of history. Without the Spirit, one is not even a part of the Bride of Christ, but also without the working of the Spirit in us, we can do nothing.

I am not trying to change the world system, or to usher in something new or even reform the world of the Church, which most of the time appears to be a distinct reality itself; separate from the world and from the spiritual realm. Though I used to think this way, it is too late for that now. I’m holding on to what I have till He comes, constantly watching and pressing on with the truths of the Word. Those who will believe will believe because they are being drawn to Messiah, being drawn to the Son by the Father.

A person can label me a twenty-something or disillusioned or disengaged or whatever they like, I really don’t mind or care. It’s just simply that I’ve decided to take the red pill, not the blue one, and as Morpheus said in “The Matrix”, I’m seeing just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

[sarah]

Hi Pilgrim,

Thanks for your insights. I can't tell by your post if you read the book or you are just responding to the Pastor's review? Its interesting that you responded the way you did because much of what you say is reflected in the book. For one, Dear Church underlines twentysomethings' dislike of being lumped into labels and categories. Secondly, it agrees that disillusionment and growth are timeless, ageless issues. And third, it makes the exact point that it is Christ who is the hope and not the church.

[pilgrim]

Greetings Sarah

No, I did not read "Dear Church". My response was from what Pastor John described in the review. Trusting his genuineness and perception, I take it that the above are some of the struggles others put forward.

But I think some of the descriptions of twenty-something’s and their opinions (which I am assuming are expressed in the book, as Pastor John said) are not thoroughly thought out by "my" generation.

For instance, the above statement (that I also assume is in the book) that we are disillusioned with the fact that 5% of Protestant congregations are multi-racial, seems totally irrelevant. First of all I am multi-racial; I'm Dutch/Irish/Cherokee/Sioux/English. Yet I'm simply classified as "White" in America. But this is beside the point. Second, why isn’t there, let’s say, a lot of Greeks at a "White" Protestant Church? Because they are Greek Orthodox! The whole nation of Greece is mainly Greek Orthodox. So when they immigrate here, they simply bring that with them. It's the same with the Arab or Syrian Orthodox Christians. Many (not all) attend Churches that are ethnically setup as they want them to be. It's the same in America. Protestant pilgrims left England to be separated from the State Church; so therefore, this nation was founded with that heritage ingrained into it. Our worship, like the Greeks, has been passed on in the same manner.

I'm not saying that churches cannot have multiple races in them, but humans gravitate towards people who are "like" them. Are any upset that the Hmong churches are primarily Hmong? Are any disillusioned that the Hebraic congregations are mainly Jewish? Ethnic congregations should not shun other races, but also it should not be a problem when their worship is flavored by their very own ethnicity and which draws the majority of their people group. As long as none of it goes against Scripture, then this is not an issue. It seems like such an argument is fueled by pressure from the “politically correct orthodoxy” of the world, which many times is not correct.

I do not consider myself part of the majority voice in my generation, mainly because I do not believe the Bible and understand the Scriptures the way the majority in my generation does. I have looked at the various theologies of Christendom, and have tried to be open to think otherwise about my beliefs. Yet as a consequence, out of all of these theologies, I have chosen Dispensationalism as the systematized theology that I believe and stick behind, because I attest that it is the closest in following what the Holy Scriptures teach us. The end result then appears that I am “disconnected” or “disillusioned” or that I am intolerant of other’s beliefs and not teachable. But the simple fact is that a majority of churches have strayed from basic Bible teaching and the faith once entrusted to us all and have turned to humanism, philosophy, social activism and secular-driven arguments so that they can stay afloat in this globalizing world.

This is off subject, but it is an example of why I do not fit into the current church mold: Israel. The commonwealth of Israel, like it or not, has an extreme importance to play in the future. Israel has and will, even more so in the future, be a dividing line among Gentile Christians. I do not support all the actions the government of Israel takes, but the Jewish people have the right to the land, beginning first with the everlasting Covenant made with Abraham. If it is God’s will that through other governmental agencies they are re-established there, then no one will be able to stop it. Nations are striving for peace, but there will never be true peace till Israel is firmly established in the land, not by any nation’s doing or by war, but by her own repentance in the rejection of the Messiah and the mighty outstretched arm of the God of Israel. Then the remnant will be fixed, never to be uprooted again.

Sorry for the long-windedness. Grace and peace.

[Sarah]

Interesting points, Pilgrim. And you are right--as the book disclaims, it is impossible to speak for all twentysomethings and I am glad you present your own positions as a variant to help round out the picture. I would love to hear your thoughts if you were to ever pick up the book. Until then, blessings on your ministry!