VillagePastor

Living with Aspergers

I live with a lot of things in my life—leading a church that struggles at times with deficits; joint pain from too many years on the tennis court; a driven personality that serves me well, and sometimes not so well; an occasional craving for Mexican food in Old Town, San Diego; the annual disappointment of following the Chargers; and a whole lot more.

But here’s something else, something I have not written about until now. Something that impacts my life almost everyday, that at times nearly pushes me to the edge—Aspergers Syndrome (AS).  It impacts me, because I have a son who is an “Aspie”.  The name comes from a pediatrician in Vienna, Hans Asperger, who in the 1940’s discovered that certain children have a unique set of character traits.  He began to study them, and he noticed they had some of the following characteristics in common:

 -they tend to have a low EQ, meaning they lack certain social skills

-they prefer to be alone

-they are very intelligent (“little professors” he called them)

-they see things in black and white, meaning they take things very literally

-they do not easily process information

-they miss subtleties, do not easily intuit

-they are very sensitive to sounds, textures

-they have an odd sense of humor—quirky fits here

-they do not easily read faces, tend to avoid eye contact

-they are not so sensitive to feelings—they do not easily empathize

-they can melt down if given too many tasks at once

There’s no conclusive data as to what leads to Aspergers. I suppose it is inherited, but I cannot point to others in my family.  It finds itself somewhere on the autistic spectrum.  All I know is that has been a unique journey, one Heather and I were not prepared for.  We have had to learn as we go, as Nate has.  Sadly, through his early education, most of his teachers had no idea what to do with a bright kid who was still processing Venus when they had moved on to Mars. 

Up until recently, not much was written about AS.  I have yet to discover a resource person who has been a significant help to my son, or me and my wife for that matter (it is not to say that those persons do not exist).  We have chased down books, gone to a neurological clinic with its own unique, sometimes bizarre exercises.  Most of what I have received is sympathy.  But I am not looking for this.  For the reality is, Aspergers is not a disability or an illness.  It is not necessarily a negative.  I happen to believe that if my son navigates through life successfully, he can use his uniqueness to do something amazing.  They say that people like Einstein and Bill Gates and the girl with the dragon tattoo are Aspies.  If so, he has joined a unique club.

Thankfully, there is beginning to be a greater awareness.  From the movie Adam (as well as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), to the current series “Parenthood”, Aspies are becoming part of the mix of characters. My pastoral work is beginning to include parents and spouses who are learning to live with this neurological condition. I’m not sure where all of it is going, but I am certain God, who superintends over all, has an interesting set of chapters ahead. It is a reminder, as well, that God has made us all very different, and a very big part of the pastoral task is to slow down before making assumptions, avoiding any tendency to marginalize those who are different, writing off those who just might be essential to the work of the kingdom.

 

 

The Dangerous Side of Success

An article out of the business section of this week’s Wall Street Journal, “Kodak Teeters on the Brink”, tells the painful story of Kodak.  After thirteen highly successful decades, the film and camera company is today on the ropes.  It is preparing to seek bankruptcy protection.  Consider this: at one time. Kodak was the undisputed king, an industry giant. It was the Google, the Apple of its day.  It seemed like everyone bought Kodak—be it film or cameras. At one point, sales reached the 10 billion mark annually. Shares went as high as 40 dollars. But in the last three years, the company has not seen a profit.  Shares as of Wednesday have fallen to 47 cents!  

How did this happen?  In part, they stopped being innovative.  Kodak could have owned the digital revolution (they invented the first digital camera in 1975—and then ignored it!).  Part of the reason was its love for film.  The digital revolution ended up passing them by, and with it, a sense of movement, innovation, and research.  In 2007, they began blowing up unused buildings, including BLGS 65 (the imagery research lab). 

Behind all of this is something that tends to happen with success.  Organizations become arrogant, monolithic, and inflexible. As one employee put it, “We had this self-imposed opinion of ourselves that we could do anything, that we were undefeatable.”  We’ve seen this story before.  Decades of dumb decisions sent GM into bankruptcy.  Early on, there was an instinctive feel for what Americans wanted—chrome, fins.  They paid attention, and designed and built with a sense of urgency.  They were in the chase (see my previous post). But success began to undermine the company. It stopped paying attention to what was outside its walls, lost its feel for what the consumer wanted, and lost its way.

In an article entitled “Toyota Tangled”, the writers of Time magazine observed the same thing at Toyota.  A lot of the recent mess is attributed to a management that “fell in love with itself, became insular, and succumbed to a sclerotic culture.”  Not that this only happens to car companies, but it is amazing that 90% of car companies that existed in the early 1900’s were gone by the 1940’s. 

There’s much the church can learn from all of this, for church cultures are prone to the same thing—

to read the rest of the article go to Trans-formed